One of the first steps that you, as a parents of a pregnant teen, need to tackle is getting a handle on your emotions. You might already be past this point, but many have an entire range of emotions to handle, from rage and anger to sadness and despair. Reach out to family members and friends during this time to find that level of support you will need emotionally to be able to handle this. As the parent of a pregnant teen, you will most likely be experiencing some, if not most, of the emotional burden here. Your child will come to you for help and assistance during this time, as most teens are in no way financially or emotionally ready to be a parent. From this experience, you know you will need to be their pillar of strength throughout the pregnancy. At this point, the primary role you will play is in helping your pregnant teen prepare for child birth and to become a new mom. This is a huge burden to be given, which is why it is important to have support during this time to help you out as well.
When you do talk, stay as calm as possible. Even if your gut is churning and you want to scream, this situation isn’t about you, it’s about your daughter. Focus on trying to understand how she’s feeling right now. Let her know that you are there for her, even if inside you’re still angry. They’ll be plenty of time to deal with your emotions later. Show you are there for her, by asking her to walk you through what happened and how she feels about it. This will give her the opportunity to cry, vent, and allow her fears to come out. It also gives you valuable information so that you don’t start jumping to conclusions. Find out if the father knows, and if his parents know. You may feel very angry toward him at this moment, but try not to vilify him. Making him the enemy could cause a rift that becomes impossible to reconcile. Help her understand that she’s very young, and making quick decisions might not be the best thing right now. Young minds don’t have the experience of knowing what life can be like as an adult. You have the chance to give her some honest advice, but try not to be condescending with the information.
Don’t try to force your views on what she should do with her pregnancy. Take some time to consider all the options available to her and seek professional guidance if you can. Going from carefree teen to expectant mother can be stressful. At times, your daughter might seem immature and want to do silly teenage things. Try not to use that as an excuse to vent your frustration on her suitability to be a mother. The hopes and dreams of both of you may now be gone; both of your futures will be different, but this doesn’t mean life will be worse. Life and people can often be surprising, and you might actually find being a grandparent a great experience – even if it is sooner than you’d hoped.